Thoughts on deployment

My thoughts today are about Mark's imminent deployment and how that has already affected me even though it hasn't yet happened.

Life has become more focused for me in the past few months. Instead of pouring my heart and soul into my career, I am able to pour my heart and soul into the time I have with my husband. I appreciate whatever little time we have together, and doing things for him has actually been a pleasure rather than something else I have to cram into my already bulging at the seams day.

As I've mentioned in a previous posting, I am a better person with Mark. My goal while he is away is to become a better person without him. That might sound cruel, but I think that's exactly what he wants to happen. That way, when we are together again, we have better people to give each other.

I originally thought that I would have a child to keep me occupied while Mark was deployed. Since that did not happened, I had to rethink what I would do with my time. This gives me the perfect opportunity to explore options that I may have overlooked before. I am learning that I need to make the most of this opportunity and get back into living life to the fullest with myself and those around me.

While I would not choose Mark's deployment as the way to go about doing this, I know that it is happening for a reason. God knows better than I do what I need, so I need to just jump into the stream of life and let it take me where it will.

This is not easy for a German Catholic to do! I am used to being in a sturdy boat either paddling my heart out and screaming directions at the one steering, or sitting in the boat looking at the map and telling the one steering that this really is not the most efficient route. Either way, I am not used to getting wet. And now's the time for me to get soaked.

So, ready or not, here I go! *SPLASH*